Sherry's "Dale" Story

Memories are fond recollections of special occasions and everyday things. Let our heart start on it's journey to healing by feeling the comfort of remembering Dale.

Biologically I was Dale's niece but, grew up with him more like a big brother (only 5 years apart). I entered his life at my age of 6/7 on a permanent basis. I quickly became his little pain in the A** (oops I meant to say his sweet, adorable and cute) niece!!

I remember sitting on Aunt Judy's bed, listening to her "Rock n Roll" records (yes vinyls) when, Dale (age 11?) bounds in, Judy screaming "GET OUT". He wanted me to play baseball with him. Let's see - listening to records with my Cool, Cute, teenage aunt or playing baseball with a BOY - what's a girly, girl to do?? Listen to records, of course.

My next adventure begins my first day of school and the bus driver leaving me off at the WRONG stop. I didn't know where I was so, I just sat on the curb and waited when who did I see - my HERO Dale.

A few months later, Dale had a cold and was using a vaporizer as he laid on the sofa watching TV. I, being the wonderful, helpful nurse Sherry decided he needed more help and moved the vaporizer closer (well maybe a little too close). I proceeded to DUMP the hot water all over him (I told you I was his pain in the ***).

Well, payback was his. "Dale was helping Grandpap putting up the outside Christmas decorations (which Grandpap designed and made himself) on the roof when I decided I could help too and started up the ladder. Dale didn't want my help and PUSHED the ladder over, landing on top of me on the ground. Luckily, no harm done.

Growing into his teenage years meant no more spinning the poor cat in the swivel chair only to watch him stagger (funny to us at the time) or, going to Las Vegas with Dale and I sitting in the lobby of the casino (too young to do anything else at the time).

We were in charge of selling poodle puppies that Grammy raised. These years saw Dale play baseball (Bruce coaching other teams I think?), playing football (he was a star to me at the time - I used to brag about him in school). We never missed a game he played (something I took with me when I had kids, never missed an event all 3 were in).

Soon, Judy married Jim. We got to see all the TURKEYS that attended her wedding (no not the people, just the turkey farm we went to see and Grandpap double exposing it over her wedding pictures). Judy has a little boy (Doug) and I remember watching Dale trying to change a diaper (hopeless, Dale pinned himself!!!!!).

Years pass and Bruce marries Frankie. Life during Dale's school years had their ups and downs. It certainly wasn't hugs and kisses in the family. I remember the temper Dale had - like when he punched a hole in the wall or throwing a tire iron at the garage door. Life wasn't happy then and, Dale decides after graduation to spread his wings and move to Hawaii. That didn't work out and he was back in 6 months.

Family became divided and estranged (non of our doing). Dale didn't have a relationship with his dad or Judy. That was made worse by me trying my wings and leaving to live with my dad (whom I hadn't see or talked to since moving to California). But, with the help of Aunt Judy/Jim (to which I owe a million thanks for that experience) off I went with no one knowing (except the school assistant principal). However, I too only lasted 6 months.

Years later Dale would tell me he wished he had my courage and strength. By now, Grammy, Dale, my mom (who was mentally ill) and I were off to Pennsylvania to live (my senior year in high school which, at the time I HATED but, it would become the best thing ).

Again, years passed and life was still difficult for all. Before we know it, Dale marries Debbie (1972) and, a few years later I too marry.

During the next 5 years (and my 3 children - Taryn, Lindsey and Brandon) Dale and I stay in touch but he hasn't see or talked to his dad, sisters or brother in all these years (again, none of his doing). I, however, become very close to all.

It was now 1982 and my third child Brandon's christening. What a perfect time to TRY and unite the family. Everyone was ready, willing and able. So, with bated breath I had Grandpap and Judy meet Dale at the party. The first time in nearly 15 years, Dale, his dad and Judy reunite. Hugs and tears by all - a success (years later Dale tells me it was the best thing anyone had ever done for him, seeing his dad ). Several years later, we lose Grandpap but Dale said he will always treasure those memories.

The years go on with Dale and I staying in touch with a phone call here and there. We make a few visits to his home in Somerset and, him to ours. My family moves to Florida and the years FLY by and, my 3 BABIES well 2 for now) are getting married. He misses Lindsey's wedding (which Judy (Jim had passed), Bruce/Frankie, Claire/George and their families attend - THANK YOU ALL).

Now, it's 2006 and my oldest Taryn is getting married - what a joyous occasion. But, to add to the very special day was having ALL my family together - yes Dale, Judy, Bruce and Claire ( Dale hadn't seen Claire and Bruce in over 30 years). I remember seeing Dale then and admiring his tremendous weight loss. We had EVERYONE at our house and what a sight seeing the Daub siblings bonding again after all these years. That weekend was too short for all of us but, Dale and Debbie stay on a few days. He was so excited about the thought of being back in Florida and seriously wanted to retire near us. Wow, I thought, FINALLY I would actually have family close by - a first for me!! We took days driving around only to find a home he loved nearby. That time together was something I will never forget, still that older brother and his little pain in the A**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We would sit in our kitchen and on our lani, looking out into the water, watching the boats and Dale saying, this is what he wanted, his idea of pleasure. But, time to go back to reality and his work.

We would stay in touch, Dale even using his work computer (didn't have a personal one) to explore housing in Florida for his retirement. He was coming even if Debbie wasn't.

We managed to see Dale one more time in October, 2007, on our way back from a West Virginia trip. It was only to meet for lunch but he was excitedly talking about this home he found in Florida, reminiscing about the first time he saw Lindsey (age 2) drinking all the adult drinks at Brandon's christening and laughing at her tipsiness but now, she was 7 months pregnant. He commented how could he be a Great, Great Uncle already. Anyway, we had weekly emails after that and a few phone calls. Little did we know that would be the last time we would see him.

Suddenly, I got a call from Debbie telling us he had a freak falling accident and was paralyzed. Daily phone calls to Deb, I was keeping everyone else informed - time was spinning with worry and concern. Then the last call with his death - no words, the loss is felt by all with a little guilt of not keeping in touch with FAMILY but knowing we ALL have our MEMORIES.

As we age, I think we realize more and more how important FAMILY is. Dale always wanted a family and didn't realize he always had one right at his finger tips. Circumstances never really allowed him to fully feel the FAMILY love and bond but, it was there for him ALWAYS. We were all not very good at expressing our feelings but,with Dale's passing he is able to feel the love in heaven. I don't want time to pass without saying THANK YOU to ALL my FAMILY. To Aunt Claire/George for being like a mother/father to me which I never really had and grandparents to my children. To Uncle Bruce/Frankie for showing me there can be a calm before the storm, optimism and stability. To Aunt Judy/( and the late Jim) for being my strength, support system, mother, sister and friend. And, to Dale for being the best big brother a girl could ever have - protector, pal and strength during adversity. I LOVE YOU ALL, more than words can express.

Memories are signs that Dale remains near in spirit long after he is gone. Tender, surprising, heartwarming proof of the promise that love will live on. Memories of yesterday, comfort for today and hope for tomorrow.

We Miss You Dale.